You Don’t Get Something For Nothing

You Don’t Get Something For Nothing
by Az

Story Notes

Author email: Email; az.ombie(at)


Disclaimer; all these characters belong to Storm Constantine. This is solely a fragment of my twisted mind, all in the name of fun. No copyright infringement intended.

Summary: Rue feels his defences are crumbling, all because of one har, who manages to crawl behind the facade of the Tigrina.

Warnings; language.

Spoilers; book 1 & 2.

Pairing; Vaysh/Caeru

Editor’s Note:

This story was originally posted to the “Pinkboard” works-in-progress in Mar. 2006. These were the only chapter posted but I thought it was worth rescuing and posting here. If you’re the author and have the rest of this, or other stories, do get in touch with me!

You Don’t Get Something For Nothing

Refuse to surrender,
Strung out until ripped apart,
Who dares, who dares to condemn
All for nothing

This window, this view, I thought it grand upon my arrival, yet now it makes me feel as a prisoner, tied with silk behind golden bars, as a songbird who is refused its voice. I remember how I was thrilled seeing this large city under my feet, I felt as a god. That was then, this is now. I no longer feel divine, I feel trapped. It would be the understatement of the millennia to say that Pellaz was thrilled to see me, never have I seen anybody radiate that much surprise, discomfort and rage mingled in one. I should have been an idiot had I not understood what was beneath his civil words. I still remember the humiliation standing there with Wolf, who had a death grip on my clammy hand. Listening to the har I had once shared such intimacy with that we had had the power to create new life, all the arguments I had rehearsed over and over again on our journey here, died on my lips. Clearly he did not think that he had done wrong leaving me behind to birth and care for our pearl. But I had overstepped my boundaries when I had come to Immanion to seek him out. No matter how many times I tried to explain to him that I had done this for Wolf, nor for me, and if he wanted me to, I should leave right this instant. That was not completely the truth, I would never be able to leave Wolf behind, leaving him in this place, this haunted wretched palace. Thiede persuaded me to stay, promising that I would have a secure home for my harling, and that Pellaz surely would come around.

Chapter 1: Of loneliness and broken dreams

Caeru sighed as he took off the pearl necklace and tossed it on the stone floor. Standing up, he gracefully stepped over the treacherous pieces of the jewellery on the floor. “Cheap crap,” he muttered under his breath. Slumping down on a large mount of fluffy pillows he sighed, “The poor, poor Tigrina, stuck in his golden prison of lies and contempt.” Melodramatically he raised a hand to his forehead, and sighed even deeper, to then giggle at himself. If he had known what he would have gotten into back then, he would never have come, given he had all that he wanted, everything his heart desired. Almost everything.

Leaning out of the window his vision blurred as he looked down, how easy it would be to just slip and fall. Rue smiled bitterly and turned his gaze to the east wing of the palace, he could not even see his Tigron’s chambers from here, and Pellaz had on more than one occasion made him aware that it was not far enough; he would prefer to be farther away, but the palace would not allow it, its walls did not stretch that far. Every time he heard those words it felt like a slap, but after years of this treatment he had gotten used to it. He pulled himself inside the room again, how he had wept bitter tears at night, by himself, but at day he would always be designated to his fate. He was the Tigrina; no one on this god-forsaken planet could take that away from him. And he would live his role, do what was expected of him. He had brought this upon himself, and to complain would be a little too self indulgent, even for Caeru.

A knock on the door shook the Tigrina from his musings. “Enter,” he called as he stifled a yawn. He was tired and had not slept well that night, plagued by nightmares, as always. And no one to soothe him when he woke soaked in sweat. Hearing soft footsteps across the stone floor, he turned with a smile until he saw it was but a messenger, and his smile faded.

“The Tigron wishes to inform that he shall dine alone tonight,” the messenger said, looking skittish and absolutely uncomfortable.

“I see,” Rue said, “dining alone you say?”

“Yes” the messenger said, looking from Caeru to the space between his feet, studying the cracks in the tiles.

“Does he really find me that naive?” Rue hissed, but when the other har still did not move or answer he just sighed deeply and said with a voice that dripped with venom, “Fine! Tell the Tigron that I made other arrangements.” The messenger didn’t look up, afraid the Tigrina would throw one of his notorious fits; he just nodded and hurried out.

“Bastard,” Rue sneered to himself, alone indeed! The Tigrina felt tears welling up in his eyes, not because he was sad, but angry and hurt. Why had Thiede sweet-talked him into this? This humiliation, every day. Every single day he would be dismissed, pushed aside and ignored. Years ago he would have give anything for Pellaz to believe his words, but now it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. He had stopped praying for understanding and redemption; he knew it would never come. He might have power, he might be the Tigrina, but he was not Cal. He hated this har with a vengeance, never having met this mythical creature, which Rue was not even sure existed anywhere else than in Pellaz’ mind. And still it never stopped haunting him; how could he best something he couldn’t touch? No, Pellaz and his marriage was made of blood and loathing.

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