Originally posted to Raythoo LJ group, Jan. 2005.
This just finished – it was supposed to be a fictionalised magical journal based on my experiences with Kamagrian magic, but it went off on its own merry way…
Constructive criticism gratefully received, as well as gut reactions.
Salt and Sweet and Spice
I am Yaleena Gimrahn, a parage of the Kamagrian, but I began life as a human female.
When I was twelve years old, my mother died. My brother had given her a difficult labour; her womb ripped and not even Wraeththu magic could heal the wound or staunch the flow of blood. We were taken in by the nearest estemble, looked after well enough, but I knew from the moment my mother breathed her last that there was nothing for me in Gimrah. As soon as I was able, I joined a team of traders and travelled all over Jaddayoth, wherever hara who travelled with humans were welcome, selling horses, buying food, spices, wool, whatever Gimrah needed.
The year of my twenty-second birthday, we arrived here, in Shilalama, with its honey-coloured stone, its peaceful life. At the time, I did not know what made me stay, only that I was grateful for the rest. Now, I know it was the call of Tel-an-Kaa, of Opalexian; of Kamagrian. Tel-an-Kaa told me I must have the touch of Lilith on my soul to have heard that call, even in the most dim and unconscious way, while still human.
I write this here to remind myself: how I came here, that I did have a life before. It is important to remember, and easy to forget. And very tempting. But I did not stay here to forget, I stayed here to know.
I asked to study before my inception, and Tel-an-Kaa approved. “To know what you want, you must first know yourself. If inception succeeds, Yaleena, there is no turning back.” I think she meant it as a warning of sorts, but it made my spine tingle with excitement. My heart leapt with hope. No turning back.