Wraeththu Wars – Episode IV: A New Inception
by Adam P. Knave
Story Notes
Title: Wraeththu Wars – Episode IV: A New Inception
Spoilers: Enchantments & Star Wars
Date Posted: April 2004
Author: Adam P. Knave
Contact: angrybluemonkey@hotmail.com
In the Beginning
Pellaz Skywalker:
Aunt Mima, why can’t I go to Grissecon School?
Mima:
When we took you in, we promised we wouldn’t send you there.
Pellaz Skywalker:
I’m going to go anyway! But first I should buy those new ‘bots, huh?
Mima:
Just go buy the ‘bots, then come brush your hair, dear.
Pellaz Skywalker:
Oh, all right!
*Pellaz stalks off to barter with Jawas*
Jawa 1:
Ootini!
Pellaz Skywalker:
I’ll take those two.
Lianvis-PO:
Yes, I will be happy to teach you many things. I am an expert in ritual rites as well as sacrifice.
R2Ulaume2:
*beep boop* *boop beep tweeee ti fweee*
Lianvis-PO:
Exactly R2Ulaume2, yes he will be happy to come with you as well.
R2Ulaume2:
*beep fwee* *Deeee dweet!*
Lianvis-PO:
Do not rock this boat, R2Ulaume2, there is chance for power here with our new ‘Master.’
Pellaz Skywalker:
I’ll take them both! They seem so nice and harmless!
At the Cave of Obi Seel Kenobi
Pellaz Skywalker:
Obi Seel! Can you teach me to be a Grissecon Master?
Obi Seel Kenobi:
I taught your father, you know.
Pellaz Skywalker:
You knew my father, can you tell me anything about him?
Obi Seel Kenobi:
No no, we must not talk about this.
Pellaz Skywalker:
You brought it up!
Obi Seel Kenobi:
Very well. But I won’t tell you anything. Being a Grissecon Master is a long and challenging journey. Your father went to the Dark Side. You must not.
Pellaz Skywalker:
I am so confused.
Obi Seel Kenobi:
We’ll go to the spaceport then. Hire us a pilot. I will begin your training.
Pellaz Skywalker:
Uhhh why, all of the sudden?
Obi Seel Kenobi:
Your aunt’s house just burned down. I am a Grissecon Master, I know this sort of thing, Pell.
R2Ulaume2:
*beep boop* *boop beep tweeee ti fweee*
At the Spaceport
Obi Seel Kenobi:
Pel, I found us a pilot. He’s shady but he’ll get us to where we’re going.
Cal Solo:
Damn right I will.
Flickbacca:
*roar*
Cal Solo:
Oh, don’t complain. Go make dinner.
Flickbacca:
*roar*
Cal Solo:
Fine, then fix the ship.
Pellaz Skywalker:
Cool! Let’s go!
Cal Solo:
What is this kid doing here?
Pellaz Skywalker:
I’m training to be a Grissecon Master!
Cal Solo:
I’m sure you are, kid.
Meanwhile, on an Empire ship
Prince Cobweb:
Let me go!
Darth Thiede:
I think not.
Prince Cobweb:
What do you want? you’ll learn nothing from me!
Darth Thiede:
We shall see.
In Cal Solo’s Ship, the Millennium Uigenna
Cal Solo:
…and don’t touch anything.
Pellaz Skywalker:
I won’t. You are quite stunning, Cal.
Cal Solo:
I… damn it. Go practice or something.
Pellaz Skywalker:
OK!
Lianvis-PO:
I can teach you many secrets and logic you know. I am fully trained and able to…
R2Ulaume2:
*deet deet* *bleep greee ti fweee ti*
Lianvis-PO:
Shut up R2 or I’ll cut off your wire tendrils and reprogram you.
R2Ulaume2:
*dweeeeeeee*
Pellaz Skywalker:
I think I’ll just go practice with Obi Seel.
Obi Seel Kenobi:
Here. Put on this helmet.
Pellaz Skywalker:
Uhh?
Obi Seel Kenobi:
Good. Now try to hit this floating thing with a stick.
Pellaz Skywalker:
You aren’t seri… ow! Stupid floating thing.