Was it a Dream?
Author’s Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Main pairing: Pellaz/Ulaume
Summary: Ulaume has a dream featuring Pellaz.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Storm Constantine.
Warning: AU of course.
Beta read by Patricia and DA, thanks sweeties!
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Was it a Dream?
Ulaume was curled around Flick, but his chesnari’s presence offered him little comfort. They had been taken from Pellaz’ home, Ulaume’s hair had been cut off, and he had been beaten while Flick had suffered in his own way. Snuggling close and watching Flick sleep, Ulaume felt inferior to the other har once more. Flick was stronger than he was. Ulaume had always known that along with the knowledge that his chesnari was a better har. Flick had never done any of the sordid things he had. Flick had never stood by as a child had been offered to Lianvis’ dark forces. Flick had never tried to ask the dehara for Pellaz’ death. Each day of his life, Ulaume wondered why someone like Flick loved him and wanted to be with him.
Only recently had he become aware of his need for forgiveness of his past crimes. It had started the first night Flick and he had taken aruna to cure Terez. When he had asked Flick to consecrate him, Ulaume had realized just how tainted he felt. A small part of absolution had come in the form of Flick’s love. Flick had found him and loved him, but was it enough?
Ulaume pulled Flick closer and the other har moaned in the tight embrace. Brushing his lips over Flick’s brow, Ulaume whispered, “I’m sorry they got to you. I would have given my life to keep you safe.” Their abductors had dressed and treated Flick like a Kakkahaar whore and being mistreated that way had damaged Flick. “I’m so sorry.” Maybe it was the universe’s way to make him pay for past crimes. “Why couldn’t it have been me?” He would have endured and taken it as punishment for the evil things he had done.
His scalp and his soul still ached from the pain and humiliation he had suffered not so long ago, but Ulaume pushed the anguish away. He was determined to focus on Flick’s needs for the time being. Tears leaked from his eyes and he tucked Flick’s head beneath his chin. “I’m so sorry. I did everything wrong. My entire life is a mistake.” Crying softly, Ulaume closed his eyes. Exhaustion took over and he dozed off.