Sweet Desperation
by Em
Story Notes
Pairing: Cal / Pellaz
Summary: The Tigron craves the one har he cannot have.
Spoilers Anything up to Wraiths
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Characters and the world they inhabit belong to Storm Constantine.
Sweet Desperation
The Tigron of Immanion had at his disposal anything a har could possibly ask for. He was surrounded by luxury and comfort and no request was too much to ask. Pellaz har Aralis was never short of company – should he desire it a banquet could be called at a few hours notice and one of the many function rooms of Phaonica would be filled with hara to socalise with. Or, should he prefer, he had many close friends to spend intimate time with. He could travel halfway across the world in mere minutes with the help of his sedu if he missed hara in Megalithica and the apartment next door housed his closest confidant in Immanion, Vaysh – who would put down whatever he was doing at Pellaz’s request.
Despite all this, Pellaz was not satisfied. He was not an overly demanding har. Aristocratic, yes – but Pellaz did not exploit his position. It was unfortunate perhaps that the one thing he desired most in the world was the one thing that even the Tigron could not have. The one thing the Tigron was specifically not allowed to have.
Calanthe.
Though Cal was never far from Pellaz’s thoughts, there were nights like tonight when the Tigron’s memories made things almost unbearable. When he could almost swear Cal was in the room with him, so strong was his presence. He haunted Pellaz like an unrelenting ghost and lingered like a cherished memory.
Many years ago the Hienama Orien had warned Pellaz to hide his tears from others and Pell had heeded that lesson well. He told nohar, not even Vaysh or Seel, how deep his grief ran. He buried it deep inside and locked it away in his heart, focusing his attention on the here and now so he would not be swamped by his past. Nohar knew of how Calanthe constantly flittered through Pellaz’s dreams or how difficult it was to get up on the mornings that waking up alone filled Pellaz with deep pain. Nohar knew that on the nights that Pellaz’s shunned company and went to his apartments alone it was because he could not stand to look at the face of anyhar who was not Cal.